Effortless Imperfection

Recently, and out of nowhere, several strangers have complimented me on the depth of my hair color.* While I appreciate them, these accolades surprise and amuse me for a few reasons. The first is that I pretty much wing it when it comes to selecting where to place highlights, so for them to turn out looking normal is quite a feat. That their arrangement creates the illusion of depth in my thin, fine hair is borderline-miraculous.

The second reason is that my hair-coloring routine is worse than amateur. It takes a good 2.5-3 hours to do four foils and one all-over color. The foils are a complete joke: clumsily folded, bulky, and I’ll be honest, sometimes I actually use Reynolds instead of Spilo. It’s sturdier.

After the application and processing time, of course, comes rinsing, shampoo, conditioner, and ph-balancing lotion. Then I apply a demi-permanent color to the hair that was just highlighted, to even out the blond and soften the shade. That has to process for another 35 minutes, after which comes more rinsing, cleaning, conditioning, and balancing. At this point we’re going on about four hours of time spent on changing the color of my hair.

I justify the time and effort I devote to coloring my hair in terms of money. The supplies I buy online are staggeringly inexpensive compared to what’s available at drug stores and to what it costs for color at a salon. And the color and developer I buy are professional grade, unlike the boxed coloring systems at Walgreens.

I realize that salon prices factor in the speed with which the colorist works as well as her or his skill. The ambiance of the salon is also something to consider, as is the fact that someone else does all the work, and there is no clean-up afterward. Still, at this point in my life, the value of these features is significantly less than $120, which is about the going rate for a couple of highlights and one or two all-over colors. So, every once in awhile, I spend a Tuesday evening or Saturday afternoon in the bathroom, painting my head and hoping for the best.

*Depth not well-represented in photos. Sorry.

i miss falling asleep and waking up to the sound of distant fog horns.

[This content is sourced from Wikipedia]

Projective Identification (or PI) is a term first introduced by Melanie Klein of the object relations school of psychoanalytic thought in 1946. It refers to a psychological process in which a person engages in the ego defense mechanism projection in such a way that his behavior towards the object of projection invokes in that person precisely the thoughts, feelings or behaviors projected.

Projective identification differs from simple projection in that projective identification is a self-fulfilling prophecy, whereby a person, believing something false about another, relates to that other person in such a way that the other person alters his behavior to make the belief true. The second person is influenced by the projection and begins to behave as though he or she is in fact actually characterized by the projected thoughts or beliefs. This is a process that generally happens outside the awareness of both parties involved, though this has been debated.

….

What is projected most often is an intolerable, painful, or dangerous idea or belief about the self that the projecting person cannot accept (i.e. “I have behaved wrongly” or “I have a sexual feeling towards ….” ). Or it may be a valued or esteemed idea that again is difficult for the projecting person to acknowledge. Projective identification is believed to be a very early or primitive psychological process and is understood to be one of the more primitive defense mechanisms. Yet it is also thought to be the basis of more mature psychological processes like empathy and intuition.

In her book Psychoanalytic Diagnosis, Nancy McWilliams points out that projective identification combines elements of projection (attributing one’s own feelings, thoughts, and motives to others) and introjection (incorporating the feelings, motives, and thoughts of others). Projective identification, in a way, validates one’s projection by making the projection real.

This is the benefit of the defense. By inducing the projected experience in another, one is more able to avoid the reality that the projected content is part of one’s own experience. For example, a psychotherapy client who has unacceptable erotic feelings toward a therapist might behave in a highly seductive manner. Once the therapist began to feel attracted, any behaviors on the therapist’s part that betrayed the attraction could help the client focus attention on the therapist’s feelings and behavior. This could prevent the client from attending to his or her own erotic impulses, thereby keeping them out of awareness.

External links

• Projective Identification Theory with Vignettes & References
• More on Projective Identification Theory & References

Think of slapping a hand. If someone slaps a hand over and over again in the same spot, the slaps become progressively more painful, and the hand becomes progressively more sensitive. Once the hand is hypersensitive, its protective instincts kick in, and its main focus becomes the prevention of further injury. The person attached to the hand becomes acutely aware of any movement in the direction of the hand, of any shadow that could signal an oncoming slap.

We’ve had pretty nice weather so far this summer, which has encouraged me to spend a lot of time outdoors and set aside the various art and sewing projects I began a few months ago. I’m sorry to say that the lack of substantial hobby-related accomplishment has also prompted me to neglect this blog.

That may be changing soon (or now), though…This morning, I was woken up at 5am by flashes of lightning and the sound of booming thunder.

In San Francisco.

I’ve lived here for about 5 years now, and not once have I ever seen lightning. I heard one rumble of thunder, one time, several years ago, but usually when it rains in the Bay Area it’s the boring sort of rain. The sky is always one color of drab gray; interesting cloud formations and eerie green skies are not the stuff of San Francisco storms.

I have no idea what happened in the universe last night/this morning that caused the violent storms, but it was kind of freaky. Normally, I prefer a good storm with my rain. It keeps things interesting and reminds me of the power of nature. This time, though, I felt like the lightning and thunder were signs of something bad and wrong. Silly, I know. But seriously, that was a Midwestern-style storm. One particularly frightening flash of lightning took out our power – An outage which lasted over two hours! The accompanying thunder shook the apartment building and scared my cat. It was weird.

Anyway, I’ll probably be blogging more in the near future, barring any natural disasters.

It’s been so long since I’ve posted anything, so I wanted to make this a good one. Lots of pictures from last weekend’s trip to Mendocino – It was a refreshing escape from the city, with the perfect balance of activity and relaxation. We didn’t want to leave!

Many thanks to Miss Oblivion for hosting, as well as for the pictures. Somehow, she’s the only one that remembered to bring a camera and was nice enough to share with the rest of us. I don’t know who actually took which pictures, so forgive me for not crediting each one individually.

As the pictures indicate, we hiked, biked, cooked, ate, drank, laid in the sun, hung out in the hot tub, and generally just enjoyed the relaxed pace of the Mendo lifestyle. Elliott and I did yoga on the roof deck, out in the sun. It was sublime: fresh air, gentle breeze, lots of sunlight…Amazing.

Other particularly memorable events include the bike races around the property (complete with jumps and obstacles), which resulted in several bleeding boys; the creation of a new religion, of which Fritz is the leader; and the discovery of a crazy hitchhiker on the road, who was picked up by a car and then kicked out a block later. Good times!

This is awful, but someone stole a kitten from the SF SPCA. If you have any information, please contact the SPCA and help reunite this little guy with his brother.

Here is the information from the SPCA web site:

Stolen Kitten: Please Help The SF/SPCA Find “Jack Daniels”

Partially-Blind 3 Month Old Kitten Stolen from Maddie’s Adoption Center

WHAT:

Today, July 8, 2009, between 2-3:45 pm PT, three month old kitten, “Jack Daniels,” was stolen from The SF/SPCA’s Maddie’s Adoption Center at 250 Florida St. San Francisco. A description of the perpetrator(s) is not available.

A description of the cat is as follows:

• Color: Black
• Sex: male
• Breed: Domestic Short Hair
• Age: 3 months
• Weight: approximately 3.0 pounds
• Distinguishing characteristics: cloudy eyes (partially blind)
• Neutered
• Microchipped (#982009105787461)

He is a partially-blind kitten, who depends on his brother for many of life’s necessities.

He is particularly vulnerable and we are gravely concerned for his safety and well-being.

WHAT YOU CAN DO:

If you have any information, or if you see a kitten fitting this description please contact Kiska Icard, Communications Manager for The San Francisco SPCA, 415.760.4265. NO QUESTIONS ASKED!

WHERE:

The kitten can also be returned directly to The San Francisco SPCA’s Maddie’s Adoption Center, 250 Florida St. San Francisco, 415.522.3500, which is open daily 11 am-6 pm (Wednesdays 1:00 p.m. – 6:00 p.m.).

For my birthday, one of my friends gave me a men’s XL t-shirt. She said that she learned to sew by making alterations on garments like large men’s shirts, creating new pieces and experimenting with techniques and styles. So, because she’s very thoughtful, she gave me a shirt so that I could do the same. Personal, yet practical. Awesome.

The pictures above show what I created out of the t-shirt. It’s a boat neck tank top, and it fits really well. The arm holes fit much better than in the previous shirts I’ve made, and the length is perfect.

I may have cheated a little on the concept of altering a t-shirt to make something else, because I really just used the t-shirt as fabric. Regardless, I’m happy with the final product.

It’s taken me longer than I would expect from myself, considering the fact that I’m borderline-obsessed with her, but I’ve finally put together a little gallery of my cat, Ziggy (aka Panda).

Enjoy the cuteness! kthxbai.

Maker Faire was a couple of weeks ago, and this year it also featured a Swap-o-rama-rama – Meaning that the organizers provided sewing machines, thread, screen printing, and other materials/services, and participants brought old clothes to donate to the communal pile.

A free-for-all of grabbing, digging, pulling, and claiming various articles of donated clothing gives way to the hovering over of occupied sewing machines, waiting for one to become available. If that happens before the interested party gives up, the task of cutting, pinning, and re-purposing can begin.

I had fun at the event, regardless of the chaotic scene, but I didn’t create anything worth mentioning. I did take home a skirt, though, to use on a later project, because the paisley pattern caught my eye. I finally started working with the material the other day, and so far have one of two scarves completed.

Although it should be longer, and I had a bit of trouble coaxing the tips of the triangular ends out toward the right side of the garment, I think it’s totally wearable. Much more so than the table runner other scarf I made.